REVIEWS: <>“Kindness is Ron Hughes!” is the inscription on a silver letter opener presented to me at the completion of a therapy group I facilitated many years ago. <> “You’re different than most of the staff here—you take time to listen, and it shows that you really care,” a patient’s mother told me shortly after my first hospital internship in the 1960’s. <>In 2007 a hard working employee facing unfair termination until my intervention on her behalf, presented me with a lovely green crystal frog in a silk lined box. Inside the cover of the box is this touching little poem: “Thank you–you could have let the moment pass, or looked the other way; Instead, you took the time to care– I thank you every day!” The green frog reflected her newly found (green) assertiveness and Kermit the frog’s song: “It isn’t easy being green.” <>One evening In the 1980’s a former patient I hadn’t seen for about a year, appeared in my waiting room, and to my great surprise, presented me with a personally embroidered plaque that today hangs in my living room. Beneath an embroidered rainbow it reads: “The soul would have no rainbow, had the eye no tear.” This–a year after nearing suicide in response to suffering relentless homophobic harrassment in a professional workplace. The personal inscription on the back reads, simply, “Thank you for leading me to the rainbow.” <>At the time of my retirement from Adolescent/Pediatric Psychotherapy (2011), there were many handmade cards from the children and among them one from a 12 year old observant boy: “You were the best therapist we’ve ever had, and you were good to all the other staff here, too! I really wish you weren’t going.” As the saying goes: “Through the eyes of babes…” EXPERIENCE: Both clients and colleagues have described my counseling style as sensitive, patient, gentle, compassionate, and kindly honest when confrontation is indicated. After over 40 years in the Healthcare profession, I retired as a Clinical Administrator and a Behavioral Health/Employee Assistance Director in a major healthcare system and, also, as a private practioner in individual and family psychotherapy and hypnotherapy. Within hospital Multi-Disciplinary-Teams (MDTs) I worked with clinical staff, clients, and patients experiencing anything from workplace challenges, to relationship issues, to depression and anxiety, to severely dibilitating psychiatric illnesses that required intensive inpatient treatment and/or psychotropic medications. FORMAL EDUCATION: Undergraduate: Holy Cross Monastery (OHC–Spiritual and Liturgical Studies); Eastern Connecticut State University; University of Hartford and Hartt College of Music; Southern Connecticut State University for undergraduate degree; Hypnology and Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapy Specialist certifications with National Guild of Hypnosis and Hypnodyne Foundation in Boston and New York; Graduate studies at Fordham University earning a Master’s of Social Work degree, entering the postgraduate doctoral program before accepting an administrative position in a major healthcare system. PSYCHIATRIC/SUBSTANCE TREATMENT AFFILIATIONS: Began psychiatric affiliation in the State Department of Mental Health (DMH) at two inpatient pediatric, adult, and geriatric facilities and was Director of Aftercare Services and clinician for Intensive Care Services for a (CADAC) alcohol and drug treatment hospital. Clinical Administrator for a Yale private “for-profit” psychiatric hospital for 7 years. While in private practice, part-time, for over 30 years, provided clinical and administrative services full-time to both State and private hospitals from the 1960’s until 2011–last four years specializing in pediatric and adolescent psychotherapy for a major healthcare system. Served 15 years as Director of another major healthcare system’s Social Wellness Support Services and directed Employee Assistance services for 3,000+ healthcare managers and employees, and was Program Administrator for Deaf and Hearing Impaired Services (DHI). Supervised Crisis and Emergency Department Psychiatric Services and Inpatient Psychiatric Social Services. WHY AM I COUNSELING AGAIN AFTER RETIRING? In recent years, I learned of a nearby 9th grade boy who took his own precious life–believing he had no where to turn following torment from family and peers who condemned him after courageously “coming out” to them–after a long lonely private struggle. Then, one of my first private practice clients (1970s) contacted me about having discovered THIS (BetterHelp) online counseling platform and urged me to adjust my busy retirement and consider resuming counseling through this platform —especially for PRIDE COUNSELING for LGBT persons. Since I still retain my clinical license in the state of Connecticut, and since you can take the counselor out of the counseling arena but can’t take the counseling out of the counselor, here I am! Fortunately, “older” can mean “wiser”—that is, wiser in so many ways, thank goodness, than I used to be. Having made wrong decisions along with right decisions, hopefully I’ve achieved the “Noblity” about which the late Wayne Dyer, PhD wrote: “Nobility isn’t being better than others–it’s being better than you used to be.” An anonymous (as far as I know) wise person once wrote: The secret of success is in two words…Right Decisions. How does one make the right decisions…Experience. How to get experience is also two words…Wrong Decisions. OTHER INFLUENCES: E.E. Cummings wrote, “It takes courage to grow up and be who you really are.” I believe it also takes courage to reach out and overcome the fear of being judged. You may be assured that I leave the judging to others. My “approach”, if you will, draws from a combination of years of training and experience–and even errors. If I were pressed to specify preferred clinical approaches, I would likely favor Cognitive Behavioral and Humanistic modalities, while not excluding a multitude of other effective influences and likely that which recognizes where YOU are, and meets you there to help you move forward to a place you hope to be. Everyone deserves to find happiness. A tiny wooden plaque in my home office reads, “Happiness is an inside job!” Sometimes being able to discover the meaning of that requires outside help. There are, and have been, so many gifted life educators–I feel personally fortunate to have learned from some of these gifted scholars and over the years have continued to share with others what I’ve learned about growing and improving productive thinking, behavior, and personal humility. I find it exciting to share with others what I’ve learned and exciting to continue to learn. One such gifted life educator from whom I learned said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change!” If you’re believing you’re “stuck” and feeling you’re simply the result of someone else’s or others’ treatment of you, you’ve yet to learn the wonder of accessing strength from your own inner guidance system. Sometimes without the right help, we may not know inner strengths even exist. Another wise person said, “We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.” When I was in High School and College I knew two young people who contemplated suicide–one eventually carried it out. I was aware of the surrounding impact it had on so many people, myself included. The other was able to obtain effective enough help to restore self-esteem and tell others about the resulting joy in choosing to live a productive valued life. One friend who had concealed suicidal intent, did commit suicide when a Senior in college. Such a beautiful person–dearly loved by friends and family, admired by most people, and so gifted in personality and intelligence. Could someONE’s helping wisdom have averted the thoughts that led to these tragedies? How tragic that the choices were not to reach out for help. I suspect these losses have been significant influences in my desire and eventual decision to invest myself in my efforts to “lead to the rainbow”. It is my hope to, if not lead, point to, or help you discover a rainbow of your own. SCHEDULE OF APPOINTMENTS: In order to reserve slots for those who request “standing appointments”, I arrange appointments according to mutual availability that we discuss during our sessions. Unfortunately, I have limited availability for sessions. My current schedule only allows me to schedule on TUESDAY –mornings, afternoons, and evenings. I check my messages daily–usually evenings. In order to be as effective as I can, I appreciate your understanding that I need to keep my caseload limited in number. A HOPEFULLY HELPFUL TIP: Sometimes selecting “the right fit” when searching for a counselor or therapist is easy and sometimes it’s challenging. Once you do select a counselor, it can be so beneficial to both YOU and your COUNSELOR to have an HONEST and considerate rapport. Please be assured that if you and I work together, it will not only be appreciated, it will be helpful for you to find comfort and safety in not only seeking feedback, but also in YOUR GIVING feedback if or when you need to. If you should ever feel disappointed, frustrated, or in any way bothered by something I say, or something about which you are troubled–please take comfort in knowing that you’re not only welcome to give both positive and/or negative feedback at any time, it will be appreciated and useful for me to know. In the event that you want to say such things as, “I don’t like what you said”, or “I don’t understand what you mean,” or “I think our sessions are too short/long/at inconvenient times/not helpful, etc.” –these things are productive things for you to be able to say. I won’t be hurt–I will be informed! While most people don’t feel comfortable giving feedback if it seems other than flattering, I hope you will take comfort in knowing it can be helpful to BOTH you and me. If you’re able to say you’re pleased or displeased, I can be sure I have a pulse on such things as determining my effectiveness or my ineffectiveness. Then, I may be better able to be effective for you. In the event you’d like to discontinue, I’ll perhaps learn where I need to improve or possibly not repeat ineffective services going forward with others. I would like YOU to know that sharing your honest views will be received with respect and appreciation, and never be met with disapproval, anger, moralizing, judgment, or defensiveness–whether I agree or disagree. Also, please know that I consider it both an HONOR and PRIVILEGE whenever anyone is able to share with me difficult, embarrassing, honest feelings and information. Most everyone fears being judged. It is not uncommon for people seeking counseling to have feelings of shame. Feelings of shame are commonly the most difficult feelings to share. My purpose here is to lend support along with honest feedback, and if at some point my feedback might be challenging or difficult to hear, I will offer it as compassionately as I possibly can with hope that it will be helpful. That’s my promise. When I need to decline to take a referral, it is always relative to the amount of availability I have, or that I believe someone with more expertise will be better able to provide for you. Very happy you’ve come either to BETTER HELP, or to PRIDE (LGBT) COUNSELING! If, after having read this profile, you’re interested in our working together, I welcome you to contact me.